would you read this???????
here is my start to my story do you think it would get published? 10 points
if you read it!!! The last thing l rememberis flying my j-3 cub
piper over Alaska’s beautiful Wrangell mountain range coming home from
my cousin cabin in anchorage. when my head started to throb and l herd
millions of voices that’s when everything went blank. Right now I’m
upside down in the airplane with the water rising rapidly. There is always
a thought in my head that I‘m going to drown as the water builds up behind the plane that has the creek damned. Pain shoots through my temples and crowds my already pulsing thoughts. Every muscle is cramped. Every tendon is sore. More throbbing as l move my arm. But it does not budge. Only the cold night air can stimulate any response in my immovable limb. l don’t know how to get out of here and don’t know how l didn’t torn apart in the crash. Dawns creeping in and l know this is bear country.I’m a diabetic and l only have enoughinsulin for a week (if l can find it). The only things l have is the airplane (crashed), a survival kit, and the clothes l have on. Since I am a 35 year old business man from LA, l have no survival skills. and l have never been outdoors for more than 2 hours. The pain is so intense that though I am extremely tired, sleep wo not come. All about is darkness and the stillness moves in on padded feet, like a great, black and silky cat. Gut-wrenching aching from the large chunk of glass in my leg shakes and ravages through me, and an ugly gash in the windscreen where l kicked it through, glares bleakly at me. Morning has come the sun stares at my throbbing aching face. l finally get my firstreal glimpse of my surroundings its like nothing happened all the birds are singing happily in this thin pine forest. It’s like they are tormenting me and trying to get me to go crazy. of metal. Glass shards rip at my skin as l plop out into the bitter cold water. l lay there in agony for what it seems like an eternity. I’m searching desperately for my insulin it’s my only life line. l rip at everything looking for my insulin ignoring the roaring pain ripping at me. l spot it and let every emotion that l have flow out screaming as loud as possible. l jab the needle into my side and feel every muscle in my body tighten as l pass out from the unbearable pain. p.s. i'm only 14
IT is good
you describe things to much, if that makes sense. i got bored
on the 1st word
my opinion
umm nice start but you give no hook in the beginning of the
story its just description reading about a man trapped in a plane isn't
really attracting. i can not help you fix it because i don't know where
you are going with the story
He is GONNA DIE!!!!
AGGHH THAT WAS GUUD!!!!
id read it
but try understating more. its a more interesting read.
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